...frosting makes me live

maybe fuck myself.

2011-12-01T01:19:00.001+08:00

I thought I could.
I know it's bigger than all of this.
It's the now that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
I'm always waiting.
And when it comes, it's never what I'd hoped it to be.

pitter pattter

2011-11-17T17:15:00.001+08:00

It's raining...
memories of playing in the park as a kid,
running, jumping in puddles,
or riding my bicycle and splashing about
in the waterlogged grass.

the smell of the air right before it poured,
and the excitement and anticipation of the first few drops...
the reckless abandon, and carefree spirit,
I've always seemed to be... still am.

I love it when it rains.

post-titled

2011-11-10T00:18:00.004+08:00

The moment when you feel like calling her so badly,
just to hear the familiar sound of her voice,
and you can hear her smoke her cigarette,
and picture every step, every detail,
her favorite lamp, the fan humming in the background,
the sound of traffic...
from the moment she takes a puff and how she exhales,
and every mannerism which you find both mildly amusing
and are enamored by.

That moment is now, and it's fleeting, and passing,
and it'll be gone soon,
and I can't do anything... but smile;
That I had precious, previous moments, with her.

Good night.

ain't it the life

2011-11-05T09:41:00.000+08:00

I'm generally happy,
how things are turning up
and that there is a brighter side
to life than I thought..
It's been a wonderful year.
I've had many lows and many more highs.
My debts are finally turning into a memory
I never wanna remember.

Of love, well love is always there.
I've had a good year and a half or so sharing mine,
with someone, and she the same, and even more so than
I think I ever deserved.
It didn't work out,
maybe it was too soon, maybe it wasn't meant to be,
maybe we deserve another chance in the future,
maybe.

Maybe has been good.

I can't hide my sadness, and it has clearly affected me immensely,
yet I'm happy in a strange sort of way.

You know how people join a monastery or priesthood,
to ease their troubled souls, to find a sense of meaning once more,
and years later come out, integrate themselves back into society,
feeling some sense of enlightenment,
and inner peace;
It feels like that, although
I've many more demons inside me to
vanquish.
And my monastery, my priesthood, this so called
period of finding myself, seeking clarity and a new perspective
is a hard battle.

bear back

2011-10-31T18:09:00.000+08:00

Live.

it's all you've got left.

slumber

2011-04-23T01:44:00.000+08:00

and I pray my love
to angels above
as you sleep this
night till dawn's early light,
for peace and smiles,
and warmth for miles,
from me to you and
yours to mine,

I'll sing a song
and before long,
asleep, your head
on my chest...
and if time would stop,
this moment I'll keep.

to hold you
tor a minute more...

i N u

2011-04-13T13:30:00.002+08:00

I love how you see
the good things behind this broken shell
and how you keep telling me
it'll be alright
when I keep saying it isn't and it is,
most times, but you make me strong,
so I can make you strong,
and you push and prod me along,
I do the same,
and we stumble and trip
as we tread along the tracks,
not knowing where it is we're going.
And I love that we know what we want
and what to do and still fumble about it
and we fall and we fall
and we pick ourselves up
but there's still a mess
and you're here and that's good,
I wouldn't change that if I could,
the you being here part,
but the mess oh in a heartbeat I would.
I love...

obliviousity

2011-04-01T17:21:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I don't have a clue,
or simply lose myself in being
completely oblivious.

What's real is us,
hanging by a thread.

dec 31 1991

2011-04-01T17:04:00.004+08:00

in(time)ate

2011-03-28T04:15:00.000+08:00

it's always the case
just when it seems all ace,
i'm out of the race, it seems...
no pit stops, only mangled bits of an old worn stock car.

I'm driving out;
in your direction.
Pull me over...

outofmylife

2011-03-20T21:20:00.001+08:00

see you later love.

nibbled

2011-03-17T22:55:00.002+08:00

lunch. me+you and then some.

and some more. and more...

1245

2011-03-04T01:59:00.000+08:00

gappling minigun looking thru them barrels
can't see no sun, this used to be fun,
teetering on the thrill, living on edge.
Where's it all gone now, where's it all gone,
down through that rabbit hole,
like foot through royal ass,
endless maze of shit and piss,
I think I'd barely miss,
oh Alice, how would you fare?
If you be here and I there,
I fear the insanity of reality
a tad too hard to bare.
Running along now, running along.
On the same side of road,
on the same side of road
on the same fucking side.
Of road.

Been singing the same old tune
and I want it to change,
like nailing myself to the cross all over again
and wrestling myself free to nail my hands in all over
again, and the wound doesn't heal no it doesn't,
it just gets bigger and gangrenous,
bits of skin and bone,
and she's still here, though miles away than
I'd like, and yet she still is here.
for now.

layhill

2011-02-26T07:24:00.003+08:00

My thoughts turn to her still.

Inexplicable how touch, smell,

sight and sound connect the dots back,

every thought, externally influenced,

point her way.

...still I mess it up,

an already overflowing mixen

of disappointment and crushed hopes,

enveloping this existence in a shroud of

uncertainty, further condemning ourselves

to a future, one without the other.

watchaperiodseriesforhoursonend&yourdictionbedicky

2011-02-25T10:10:00.000+08:00

Mind is reduced to mulch

and sleepless eyes gaze back,

absent, empty, dull,

the light has gone from pupils

once adorned by light now faded.

I lament not, such thoughts have no room this hour.

A mere salutation to wandering eyes

that chance their sights in like direction.

Salutations all around.

Today, this fifth day,

I would to make merry

and partake of drink,

and wine, women for sport;

such is the world, but I decline,

not out of loathe or disdain, but

by default and lack of choice, for the now

does not permit.

Nor would I take into mine arms for mere leisure alone.

this heart beats but for one.

silly words, perhaps.

silly words.

run fumble hard gamble now ramble

2011-02-25T09:49:00.000+08:00

keep not a penny
for libationary exploits,
it would do you in.
livers and workhorses
can last and outrun for only so far.

If troubles could be drunk away...
Mine are deep.
aye ocean deep.

despite this plight,
a faint fuzzy light...
glows.

volaticus

2011-02-14T15:32:00.003+08:00

So I wanna write a new chapter.
There's more to look forward to, hereafter.
Don't want it to be the same old same same old,
like today, it ain't gold,
2nd week of the 2nd month,
a day before the 2nd day.
happy hearts, chocolates, smores, chocolate smores.

Envision, on a mission, to find some sort of consistency,
new vocabulary, a new word, a day, something new to say,
word play.

plus one, you're on my list,
top of, no less,
no more mess,
on top of me, or me behind,
I'd be glad to just spend time,
long strolls, breathless, walks,
hop on puddles, make funny faces,
cook a meal.

happy happy happy,
it's all anybody ever needs and deserves,
no soap opera drama nonsense,
Switch the channel if we could.

Things are looking up for me.
I wanna see the same, for you.

Love, love, love, love.
happy hearts. happy hearts.

fourwallsred

2011-02-10T02:54:00.001+08:00

home.
where exactly is that?
It's where the warmest and most fuzziest
of sensations make themselves known
in ways so profoundly overwhelming,
only biblical events could eclipse them ten-fold.

I want to have that.
That sense of home.
I feel the longing in the damaged pits of my
once ethanol charged gut.
The longing of simplicity and love.
Of love.

The image sold so shamelessly, and affordably accessible,
recycled paper printed, on greeting cards and
technicolored after-effects saturated tv and sappy romantic movies
and yellowing romance novels with the
classic guy and gal posing exaggeratively embracing
in sensual eye-lock;
The happy couple, and their manicured gardens, and
their 9 to 5 lives, and after dinner tv, and adventures under the sheets
only to be interrupted by the baby monitor.
Doesn't seem like a bad deal, really.

I'd like that.
Can I see that with you?
I'd like to.

Cheesy as it sounds,
I'd want to have anything a glimpse, a glimmer,
a peephole view, hidden cameras, heat sensitive monitors.
anything that would hint of a future.

I've always been afraid to see that picture.
You know, moving on in life together.
Wasn't the punk rock thing to do.
But even the punk rockers have kids and a family.
and better dental even.
better fucking dental, who'd have thought.

One thing rings true, and I'd like it to change.
For the better, for good.
I'm starting now.

I'm right at home with you...

Feb 9, 2011 11:33:17 PM

2011-02-09T23:31:00.001+08:00

sentiments...
it's never easy.
...never fucking is.

I'll see you maybe probably possibly soon maybe somehow

2011-02-09T18:43:00.000+08:00

goodbyes.
for a while.
Too many if-only's.

everything will be alright.

2011-02-07T13:58:00.002+08:00

Here's to you love.

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=143582672360936
http://www.facebook.com/EmbraceThemGhosts

Breathe, Transitions EP by Embrace Them Ghosts:

What have you done?What have you seen?What have your heard?

Don't let them come to you

Desperation is seeping into your veins,don't let it be.

You're not alone,for all i know.

Just breathe in deep,to tame your soul,and everything will be alright.

I will race against the time to reach you my friend as this could be your last breathe drawn.

Just hold on!

Promise me you will hold on,just hold on.

Pull me away,make everything alright(And everything will be alright)

Just touch your heart,just one more time tonight(And everything will be alright)

Don't die on me tonight

Bring back the light into your eyes

Step away from the edge,step away now.

One day,you will reach home.

Not by your hands,only by His hands

Pull me away,make everything alright(And everything will be alright)

Just touch your heart,just one more time tonight(And everything will be alright)

Everything....be alright

words and music by Embrace Them Ghosts.

1/17/11draft

2011-02-07T12:52:00.001+08:00

Dearest,
pieces are scattered and we pick them up,
rubber gloves, gently with pincers, tweesers,
so fragile...
put them back together, like a puzzle,
see what it looks like, whole.

I'd like to see it all come together.
We both know we're more than fairweather.
For good or not, who's to know,
piece it back together for it all to show.

ruffles

2011-02-06T04:14:00.001+08:00

maybe we should be, maybe we shouldn't...
Who's to know? Who's to know?
Come rain or snow,
don't matter should wind howl or blow.
I'll go, I'll go...
this path, I'll go.

down is what it is

2011-01-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

I've never belonged.
never will...
I don't know, I'll probably just live myself ill.
unwanted. it's how I feel. unwanted...
I hate that it's real.

sleeplesssleeplesssleptless

2011-01-20T07:18:00.001+08:00

words long left unsaid,

undid that box,

hurt me, you, mostest,

I broke something today,

I don't think I'll ever fix.

goodbyes were in order;

In the midst of all the chaos,

a truth rang true...

Me.
Love.
You.
bittersweet.

whatwegotitswhatwegotitswahtwegotwegotwegotwegotwegotweusourselves

2011-01-14T08:24:00.002+08:00

Wherever we turn,
and how badly we burn,
inexplicable and unfathomably,
we still yearn...
for a night or two, or three,
possibly.
those me and you's...
and as the night fades away
and gives in to day,
we lay, silent, not still,
no, not still at all.
me, you,
against the wall;
as close as can ever be,

hold me, tightly...

push and shove,

I have you still, love...

I still have you.

Two sticks gone and twenty more to go,
maybe I'll stay, maybe you won't, who's to know?
and that's what makes it all worthwhile,
there's paths to tread, two hundred thousand million billion yards...
a mile, and a zillion more...
gets you thinking, it's prettily worth fighting for.
And that's a hell lotta shoes.

Let's have us a smoke, or not,
and welcome the unknown,
the unfolding, the end of the plot.

gogogadget

2011-01-10T17:56:00.001+08:00

I fear the worst is here.
you should cut me off.
I am my own cancer and it's killing
us.

thereoncewasaboywhowantedtobe,buthefellandhefellandhefellandhewas...

2011-01-08T19:02:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm sad
It's driving me mad, love.

driving me mad.

zooop

2011-01-07T19:01:00.000+08:00

dawns on me my folly,
and things could be jolly.
it is hard.
to move forward.

milesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmiles

2011-01-06T16:35:00.000+08:00

one of a few reasons I've left to keep me from stifling a frown.
You'll have all of me should things pull through if fate grants us that.
I promise.
I dread the inevitability of all this,
and it's torn me up inside and there's nothing left...
but your smile :)

farawayboys,farawayboys,away from ya now,i'mlyin with mysweetheartinherarmsi'll be found

2011-01-04T17:02:00.000+08:00

truth is absolute and it's absolutely true

that the realness of it all, me and you

we should not, never, ever misconstrue,

the fact of the matter, my not having...

to bid thee, my dearie, with bleeding heart so heavy,

adieu...

for now.

and how do I go about,

to make do without...

You.

I miss, and I've kissed

and held and felt;

Wasn't our time...

I miss your gaze.

the intensity of a gajillion neon lights in your eyes.

pierce right through, and you stake your claim

and no one messes with you :)

It hurts me to bits,

and we have to start over,

one without the other;

We cover our tracks as we turn our backs

on hills green and gold that now make stories of old.

I digress,

as pictures play in my head once more,

red walls, and teeth and skin, and tongue and sweat and tears, and blood

of the heat that two share in the dead of night, under starless sky,

we lay, entwined, there, laid bare.

and thereafter as we lay to slumber,

I meet her gaze, and she, mine...

10 seconds; a constant repetition in my minds eye,

a masculine flaw, or gift, go figure...

I have but flashes, and thoughts for none save one.

lament

2011-01-03T21:47:00.000+08:00

This actually might be it.
I kinda saw it coming.
Like the freight train life always throws at you
and you can do nothing but meet it head on
and see what becomes of everything afterwards.

I'll be saying goodbye.
To too many damn things.

There's a barn-house full of good I'm not gonna
be seeing or smelling or touching or any of that for some time,
and maybe for good, I don't know.

It's not over yet.

empty

2011-01-03T17:03:00.000+08:00

I don't know 'bout tomorrow...
How it's meant to be.

wingit

2011-01-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

I like this picture.
Whirwind rollercoaster thrill ride
but I'm glad.
You're by my side.
Little things I miss and don't want to be without,
Things I want to make grow and not throw, away, slip through...
It starts now.

sakuma dropped.

2010-12-16T04:24:00.000+08:00

used to have a thing for a word or two.
still do.
like computer geeks have a fascination with the latest
hardware, software, cable, game, lo tech hi tech
multiple, decimal, fraction that tickles their binary one zero one zero one track digitalesque
hand cream smelling high iq'd mind.

All I have is the dim lit comfort of your quarters.
We'd love to wake up to each other everyday like we do.

kringles

2010-12-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

I'm in a good place with you.
Now.
Every ounce of lost sleep,
to be, deep, in and with each other.

I'd have it no other way, to spend a day, two nights,
3 weeks...
Smiles for miles, it's been while.

thinkin

2010-12-06T12:24:00.001+08:00

Just to know she's out there, thinking of you...
She'd give up everything just.

You.
I miss.
Many days and nights, spent without.
I wanna shout out,
let it all out.
With you.

Beacon

2010-11-27T13:37:00.004+08:00

my dearest, if you could go all looney tunes on me,
You would, and with the anvils and bombs and rockets
Raining acme hellfire on my ass,
It would make for an awesome spectacle,
on top of the fact that you're giving me
the royal smackdown.
Such is the capacity my tendency to cause a reaction
of that magnitude is to you when I piss you off.

I don't know what I'd do without you...

She makes me feel like somebody,
someone real.
A feeling I've not been oftenly blessed with,
She tells me everything will be alright
Despite the reality that for the moment,
they aren't.

I look forward to the rain more often now.
the November rains are paving the way for cool
Clear Christmas nights.
I can't wait.

want

2010-11-15T06:04:00.000+08:00

Seriously,
In all seriousness,
I can't not care less
______ .
a day and a half non stop
I think of you.
I do.

Balderdash

2010-11-07T11:10:00.000+08:00

Every mistake,
Learnt, burnt.
Was and have never been
Nor will ever be.
probably most likely not.
what I'm supposed to be.

I've made you not want to talk to me.
11:11.
Now.

Seriously

2010-11-07T03:37:00.000+08:00

Miss you. Full stop.

boy

2010-11-01T03:36:00.000+08:00

Held you.
felt you, there.
beside.
I'll take it all in stride,
and I can't let this slide.
I want more, but a trickle is all I can afford of you.
For now.

You remind me of how things are supposed to and should be.
How it all could be.
It's up to me.
Now.
Do I want you, us, as bad as you do?

an adventure, under a thin cover,
a starless, moonless night.
the wind grew cold and the night got old,
but we had each other, and it's all that mattered.

Two roller-coaster worthy days,
my mind will never erase.

we let down our guard;
you broke down my walls.
tears flowed freely,
I felt and acknowledged
what was deep within...
inside of us both.

I miss your hand in mine.

Miles from a smile

2010-10-29T22:57:00.002+08:00

I'm back, but I feel like I'm elsewhere.
Distant, faraway.

hart

2010-10-25T00:45:00.003+08:00

I'll be back in one piece.
Or I'll be back, at least.
X days away,
Don't worry love, I won't go astray.

You still linger about my senses,
in my head, on my skin;
And its gonna stay,
like me, in and around;
and about, you.

Spent a day,
we shared the bed,
on clear heads, not a drop of booze,
barely a snooze...

I bid you goodnight
and dearest, sleep tight.
I'll be on my way,
in more than a day,
but I'll come back to you
We'll have a smoke,
share a joke,
make a meal.
under hazy skies, who gives a fuck,
about the weather, make it rain Lord,
that'll be better.

night, love.

Night

2010-10-24T03:41:00.001+08:00

3:33.
2 minutes back.
beside me...
Where you wanna be.
Here. Now.
kiss you goodnight.
Pretty.

paints

2010-10-22T06:44:00.001+08:00

Waking moments shared under the covers.
down, out and about and out of sorts,
I pick myself up still, peer outside my window sill,
The haze masks the warmth I feel.
Now, and you're snoozing away.
a peaceful smile painted on your face.
So ideal, let's wish it real.
free, is all we really want to be.
And there's yet so much to fix,
so much.
The path is clear,
let's walk it my dear.
should we meet in the end?
Can't say. But a path is laid.

waking mornings.
Next to you.

hot flame

2010-10-20T14:39:00.002+08:00

I'll write about how at this juncture
we are teetering about at the crossroads
Playing with fire,
as the flames dance
a deadly dance on our palms
Our fingers;
a memory lingers.

My final conscious thoughts
Form images,
The both of us;
Before I succumb to the night and
an empty bed.

I'll write about life
And strife and unused
Underutilized chance after chance
and gloriously blowing each one to hell
one after the other.

I thought I had all the answers,
and it's all there, laid out for me
on a Fucking silver platter,
Raw and bare, all there.
Spurned.

I fell I'm slipping back into what was
once normality but what's now become a liability

I won't let that happen.
Everything to lose is the name of the game.

I won't stay away and I'll learn to right the wrongs
the hiccups that fuck up our day.

All i've got isn't much.
would be nice to share a glass, a meal an evening...
A moment.
With someone, somebody...
You?
Maybe.

I need to fix me.
Commencement--
ETA now.

shoot skeet

2010-10-18T19:32:00.000+08:00

Choice, decisions, alternatives.
We're free to be
And I'd be with you.
Put on your running shoes baby,
it's the marathon we're after.

more than words could ever fulfill
my hands will.. Given a chance.
and it's hard and gets harder still.

I miss your voice in my ear,
your arms enveloping me in your caress
as long heated nights await and pass,
As we share a glass, or two,
catch that show, go for that stroll
Share stories, bedside...
No limits, no need to hide.
I've some sorting out to do
before we can be two.
I'm just a Juan.
damn pun.

But your hands,
fill a gap in mine.
Fits just fine.
And maybe that's a clue.

I'm missing alot of things
I've gotten much accustomed to,
and it's all of you.

Your hair to the soft
supple touch of your skin.
just does me in.
completely.
every inch.

If our lives were a book,
I'd wanna flip to the end,
But I might miss out on a really good read.

so, good friend,
Wait awaits at the end.
Of all this...

Physical

2010-10-15T17:53:00.000+08:00

Meet-you-rendezvous'...
Thought I'd lost you.
longing for some side by side banter
Table top or otherwise doesn't matter.
Whatever the weather,
if it rains, even better.
I miss the word play.
I'd miss a day without the sound of your voice
Miss scratchy...
keep that smile on
'cause I wanna give you
more reason to.

Flyd Mywhether

2010-10-15T09:37:00.000+08:00

she wants to please
and she can't leave, it all.
Can't have it all.
Yet.
I do agree it would be hard if it were me.

but she's stronger
than she gives herself credit for;
this I admire, when it comes to the wire...
a week or more I've missed,
pictures of her,
a blur,
still linger...
morning mist

I miss her.
I do.

equate

2010-10-11T02:47:00.000+08:00

It's much more simple, now, really.
To hear your voice,
your just woken up soft, scratchy, out-of-bed tone
just does me in.
Completely.

I can talk about your lips,
your hair,
how you bite your nails,
and your aversion to vegetables and your many, many, many
more endearing quirks.
I can go all day.

I strive to be, unbroken;
And so should you.
And you're halfway there.

Right now, this very instant,
though it pains me that you're not here,
fret not dear,
I'd be apart from you, a month, a year or two,
But to lose you for good, would never do.
No no no never do at all.

Who am I to say,
let the stars and fates have their way,
And we'll take it in stride,
Strap in for the ride.
I'm in.
I'll see you at the end.
Whatever end it may be,
We'll always have you and me.

Sellf

2010-10-06T15:58:00.001+08:00

Aspire to inspire
This fire rekindled;
A flame, desire...
left a stone unturned, here I lay, burned.
Chances spurned but without lack of hope.
Grab on hang on, tight, this rope.
Come the wave, lest it break in its wake.

sidetrack:
I've been thinking,
and I fear...
That which I hold, ever dear,
Would cost more than a tear,
But at what price?
a chance or non at all.
should I choose to fall
Again and again
And eat dust off the trail
or blaze one of my own
and carve and hone
a name, a life,
one with no strife...
till you come along,
again, once more, perhaps never,
we can't be sure.
for the fates seem to rule
and have their way they shall.
But it's not too late for me to dictate,
the path I must take.
I wish it were you and glad t'were it true.
what could be,
Let's not misconstrue...
what should be,
time. A clue.
we can't know yet
I reckon,
were you the one
T'Would be so much fun.

I digress...
I'll fix me.
You'll fix you..
and maybe just maybe, there might just be a clue
a hint.
I starve for a glint, cos I'm skint
as the word can allow.
and I'll fix me.
Eventually.
and maybe, just maybe...
I don't know.
I really don't.
I may need to find me a new way to smile.
just for a while.
the clouds are rolling in...

40proof

2010-10-04T00:49:00.000+08:00

I'd walk miles.
Your scent
Your smile
Lines lines lines
Distilled spirits,
Nicoteine sticks
Salad dips dirty chicks,
Eyes on you
Just you...
Tonight
Tomorrow
Whenever
Wherever.
Now, later,
soon, soon, soonest?
now?
quandary... Me and you?

Do

2010-10-01T02:14:00.000+08:00

Skin met skin.
Tonight.
I saw a smile;
not a glimpse not a hint,
of the opposite.
your scent lingers,
We keep each other warm,
How can we do each other any more harm?
extreme highs between your thighs
But it don't matter,
I'd settle for table top banter,
A ciggarette or two,
a sip of bubbly, as long as it's you...
snoozing gently, beside me.
I see you.
Enter part two.

link

2010-09-28T04:42:00.000+08:00

She makes me wanna do so much more.
Seems like I have you, now...
But I want you for longer, somehow.

Words have been hard to come by lately,
distractions, detractions and what-nots

I want what everybody wants but not everyone can attain.
I can't lose because there's so much more to gain.

There's too much to say and plenty to do.
Amidst all of that, I still miss you.
It's true.

Place

2010-09-25T19:27:00.001+08:00

How'd we get to here?
funny how it plays out huh.
but here is good,
Wouldn't trade it for anything else,
the sound of your breathing
Your chest heaving, gently
and I steal a glance or two at you..
How'd we get to here..
For what it's worth,
I'm glad we did.

where to

2010-09-24T15:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes she catches me in the most awkward of moments,
And she laughs.
I like when she laughs.
And when she smiles...
It's the little things,I guess...
Though it all doesn't go to plan,
she seems to understand.

A dwarf of a man,
I wanna walk in bigger shoes,
and I don't wanna have to lose,
her, us.

I'll see you tonight,
have a glass or two,
rest your head on mine
as we unwind,
table for two,
me and you.

2010-09-22T15:58:00.001+08:00

Can't let you go.
Barely had you, in my arms...
Rest your head on my chest,
Wanna look you in the eye,
catch that glimmer of hope;
what a spark it could muster
when it all feels so dark.
I wanna walk this two way street
Back and forth from mine and yours..
we almost let go, and I'll have you know,
I can't say the words.. No.
the road looks rough,
Sturdy shoes and a steady walk might do the trick.
I want your hand.
Need your hand.
We wonder if we could do without
And I'm sure as hell there are doubts.
walk with me though.
I'll paint smiles on your face and keep them ever there

Is this or is this

2010-09-21T11:49:00.000+08:00

seems to be the case,
this phase,
darling, I can't erase
thoughts, pictures...
How much more you can endure
I don't wanna drag any more
Are we done when we haven't even begun?
I told you I wouldn't give up
Or give in,
I miss the touch of your skin
And how you get cold so easily
like your clothes are always too thin;
Buy they're not;
And how you look straight into me
trying to figure out how I tick,
and how you always get sick but not anymore;
and my cogs and sprockets may be broken and rusted
And I've got holes in my pockets;
And that I need new pants,
but you seem to understand,
Or try your most bestest,
and I feel it.
When I hold your hand.
And how you run your fingers in my hair...
And it sucks when I'm not there,
Physically.
Words can do so much,
But it's so much better when there's
touch.

If it's for the best,
Then this is a test.
That such obstacles should befall,
mere walls is all...
I'm not giving up nor giving in.
On me.
On you.
so....
now what do we do?

time. Why you punish me. Will you be here tomorrow?

2010-09-21T04:06:00.000+08:00

I can't.
Can I, should I, would I, will I
actualize, realize, theorize
This, you, me, us, we, thing...

could we, must we, should we, can we at all?
see the blips, rise, fall,
our downfall?
Measure the pressure, this tenure, simple leisure?
And pleasure?
Or more? Something in store...

maybe it is, maybe it isn't...
No better time to find out than the present.

I found.
you.

2010-09-19T16:55:00.000+08:00

It becomes clearer..
Crystal...
When our eyes meet,
I just know
that this ain't no show.
it's a wonder sometimes
I ask myself how this played out
And all I can decipher and comprehend
Is that you're here.
Now.
And the story unravels,
with bated breath,
excited and anxious..
if it'll be, finally...
It feels right,
This tough tough fight,
Time and miles apart...
I guess it's like that at the start.
I miss you even when you're right here,
next to me...
Kiss, touch, exchange words and a funny story.
Yes, yes...
I like you very much,thanks.
Very very very much...

Z

2010-09-18T06:55:00.001+08:00

I'm falling, and this is one fall
I don't wanna get up from.
We're a long way from where we wanna be;

I wanna warm your bed, dearest.
Kiss your head while you're asleep.
Lazy afternoons and rainy days
We'll find means, ways,
To get by... Today...

light

2010-09-17T12:40:00.001+08:00

Just when I thought the clouds had their way...
A sliver of light shone through,
It was you.
You make me wanna be,
Better.
Stripped bare,
This is me,
just me, and you take
what you can,
And I wanna give more,
And you can see an end,
a beginning, just for two
Smile,
I can smile..
And I do when I hear you,
Your eyes barely open,
Words barely spoken in that tiny
squeaky voice that you do,
And it makes me want you...
Ever more.

pillar

2010-09-16T02:03:00.000+08:00

if only you could see
what it's like to be me.
I want us to be...
you and me.
Baby,
I've no reason
save for one...
And this ain't just for fun.
I gave up on love,
on self, on hope...
don't give me a reason to give up again.
I miss the warmth, the taste, the feel.
I've reason to breathe, to live to weave,
a life, to share with you and me...
don't let me go and I'll have you know,
the proof I'll prove I'm for real and it's not a show.
Baby...
I didn't mean I'd ever let go when I said take it slow.
Allow me this space
and I'll run this race,
with you,
I'll keep pace.
Just please don't let go.
Of me.
Of us.
Because I won't.

dry.

2010-09-15T02:13:00.000+08:00

lips meet,

as i bask in your scent,

clock ticks,

there's no time,

there never is... enough.

It's what I can't get;

enough of you.

Never thought I'd let go

and let loose,

this tight noose

constricted, restrictions

are vacant and void.

when it comes to you

all I see, is true.

Baby.

It's you.

Geography.

our least favorite subject...

two

2010-09-12T16:22:00.000+08:00

a couple days, and equal nights,

nothing but you in my sight.

stole a gaze at your sleeping face;

pretty thoughts I can't erase,

from my mind ,

the tape's on replay,

but we're moving ahead.

daylight baby.

You and me.

areasonforreasoni'llsaythistoyou

2010-09-06T05:21:00.000+08:00

dearest.
i miss you most.
Don't let them scare you
he said,
I'll say the same.

finish line:
your hand in mine...

calamine.

2010-09-03T02:06:00.001+08:00

like a mild rash
I just want to scratch you off.
The more I do, the more it spreads.

I've accepted the fact there is no more room for me
within these walls.
That you built with your own blood and sweat.
I will bleed my own and sweat my own
and cry my own.
You'll see.
And all you're waiting for is to see me fall;
Ridicule my plight and seemingly meaningless fight.

Stood in your shadow far too long,
no more will I be always wrong.
In your eyes.
No more.

5:57

2010-09-02T04:56:00.000+08:00

if you could, would you?

iwantthissobadsoimustandifidontiwillbustcombustandrustonmyowndethrone

2010-09-01T07:45:00.000+08:00

an open letter to make it better,

I can only look ahead,

no games,

all cards laid bare.

all in...

I'm here.

lines dos

2010-08-31T08:49:00.001+08:00

07:43... I miss you already.

I've a reason to smile.

Smile with me?

No more confusion, illusions, delusion, reclusion,

from what is possible, probable, true.
There, I've said it, I'll say it again...
I will run. With you.
What's begun and what's been done;
It's seems at first a big blur, but what's clear...now...
Is her.
And so ends this scene,
till once more we convene.
we know not when...
but convene we shall.
I've still a reason to smile.
It may yet last for a little while...

lines.

2010-08-30T05:10:00.002+08:00

I can afford a smile
It's free but it ain't cheap.
Saw the light in your eyes,
a sliver, a glimpse...
felt your hand in mine,
warmth as our digits entwine;
I counted days and hours and minutes,
But, this time, now... I can afford a smile.
It's gonna stay on for awhile.

half empty half full

2010-03-22T18:30:00.003+08:00

i think it all boils down to...
the lack of you.
and it's all my fault.

define

2010-03-19T00:07:00.002+08:00

meaning.
it's what we live to find.
Do we ever, though?

bailiff

2010-02-03T01:34:00.002+08:00

spare the nitty gritty
I'll sing you a ditty,
for your kitty;
Getting kinda freaky,
Rapid eye kinda woke me.
Leave it on a platter
till you hear it make a splatter
and the gunk like a skunk fills
your trunk with a clunk
and you sniff and a-whiff
scares you stiff.

arctic monk, he

2010-01-10T04:19:00.002+08:00

Leave me seething,
gritting,grinding
brightly blinding,
openminding closely finding,
empty spaces,multi races,
places faces, aches and aces,
wish you'd see me,
lie completely,
kind and sweetly,
die a beattie,
no, not warren,
like on tv.
Short and happy
never lonely,
soap and sand
(...in the hour glass)
whisper to me
soft and slowly,
(...so are the days of our lives)
I still do think he...
like so many...
incomplete me.

signage.

2009-11-30T03:55:00.002+08:00

the ship's just sailed on this one,
CLOSED sign's on the doors.
bells bells bells bells
nothing. you got nothing.

stupid

2009-11-25T00:06:00.002+08:00

If there was nothing to begin with,
why did it feel like it ended?

It's obvious why,
but indefference
overshadows the fact.

rewind

2009-11-20T05:55:00.002+08:00

the scent of her hair in my hands
and the warmth of her breath as we lay
in each others embrace
was how things used to be.
The bed seems alot bigger
and the room much more colder
and the nights so much darker;
so much for the memories,
it's all I have to
remind me she was here.

non cents

2009-11-18T17:18:00.002+08:00

more thoughts floating,
bobbing about
like bhuoys off the coast,
it keeps comin back, hauntingly,
like a ghost,
it doesn't feel as bad,
better to have had,
try as I would,
try as I could,
it ended before it should.

sliver.

2009-11-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

there's a hint of light peeking
throught the clouds.

float.

2009-10-15T14:57:00.002+08:00

So tear me off of you,
an extra limb, dead weight.
It's all I'll ever be, was, whatever.

I could ride the wind.

so i made a big mistake

2009-08-01T05:54:00.003+08:00

Do I miss you so badly?
Or the mere absence of any form of
affection...

Driven to vicarious satisfactions,
serving no means but to prolong
a self imposed exile.
From myself.

And it's of my own doing is it not?
thus one should live with it and the
aftermath that follows.

Scars I won't let heal.
Maybe I should just leave.

to kitty.

2009-07-28T10:51:00.005+08:00

Here's to you.

To life, to love, to things that will be,
and to what should or could have been.
To the sight of your smile,
more often than tears or frowns.

over

2009-07-24T22:26:00.002+08:00

Got no words this time,
though time is all that's left.
Thoughts still wander
to way back when.
My reflection makes me shudder.

recurring

2009-07-14T02:31:00.004+08:00

I dreamt;
the smell of your shampoo.
skin on skin was still in.

Chest gently heaving up and down
while you snoozed and I looked on.

And it was you,
the scent you left behind.
Just a memory now, I suppose.

Vacancy sign on my bedpost.
Room for one more.
This once shiny new key is starting to rust,
Just have to find a new door.

I swept the broken pieces off the floor.
Mediocre rhymes and rhythms replace an old familiar tune.

It's sinking in.
But the dreams won't stop,
and I still have to get up.

And beneath the sheets
where 2 pairs of feet
would often times meet;

Where flesh and whispers and truths
once converged.
All's left is an empty urge.

*cue in alarm bell ring.

or free.

2009-07-10T05:45:00.001+08:00

bright eyes. easy/lucky/free.

dot.

2009-07-10T04:33:00.003+08:00

like music.
stirring every sense
in my body,
swaying gently to every note.

Would your touch do as much?
My mind wanders;
Like many hands and fingers,
lightly along every inch of me.

navigator

2009-07-05T02:01:00.003+08:00

follow me into the sea,
the only place we can be,
in the depths floating everfree.

choked

2009-06-27T21:33:00.002+08:00

sever the ties.
They break us.
The once binding fibers that brought us together,
grow ever tigher around our necks.

crossroaded

2009-06-21T15:44:00.002+08:00

drifting apart aint so hard.

it's yours

2009-06-13T01:56:00.002+08:00

tune

2009-06-08T13:19:00.005+08:00

a little ditty I've been working on:

She's a toy for the boys,
No longer daddy's joy.
She's a trick that you pick
When you've had too much to drink

But you know too well,
You're still my only girl.

She's a chore, he's a bore;
No more daddy's little whore.
Catch the sun, in her eyes
See them glow, watch it rise.

And you know too well,
You're still my only girl.

begin.

2009-06-05T03:47:00.003+08:00

Distant waves crash onto the rocky edges
of a once sunburned islet.

What was desolate and bare;
...greens and blues, a thousand hues.
Alive.

10-0

2009-04-25T09:00:00.002+08:00

I lost.
All of it; gone.
There seems to be no reason to carry on.
No calm after the storm, only more dark clouds.

It's been far too long, maybe only a year.
Or ten. New beginnings. Same ending.

I have lost.

bearings

2009-04-22T11:55:00.003+08:00

I had it all.
I thought I did.
But I lost myself,
and everything else with it.

going going going

2009-04-20T04:10:00.002+08:00

i don't know, it seems pretty much the same
as before.

maybe a little bit more about me, than it is about you.

And I concede.
You were right all along and it's me who's wrong.

This is how it ends, how we part ways.

gallows

2009-04-12T00:55:00.003+08:00

you'll never get it.
too late and too slow.

your own your own, your lowest low.

its a circle.

2009-04-09T19:59:00.002+08:00

self contained emotions,
boiling over.
my chest caves in as I implode.

All i really want and need and hope for,
will never be.

8

2009-03-31T23:35:00.002+08:00

above knee deep,
force a grin.
poison looks and smoky tin,
dirty books and smell of sin;

it's better this way.
for now, anyway...