down is what it is

I've never belonged.
never will...
I don't know, I'll probably just live myself ill.
unwanted. it's how I feel. unwanted...
I hate that it's real.

sleeplesssleeplesssleptless

words long left unsaid,

undid that box,

hurt me, you, mostest,

I broke something today,

I don't think I'll ever fix.

goodbyes were in order;

In the midst of all the chaos,

a truth rang true...

Me.
Love.
You.
bittersweet.

whatwegotitswhatwegotitswahtwegotwegotwegotwegotwegotweusourselves

Wherever we turn,
and how badly we burn,
inexplicable and unfathomably,
we still yearn...
for a night or two, or three,
possibly.
those me and you's...
and as the night fades away
and gives in to day,
we lay, silent, not still,
no, not still at all.
me, you,
against the wall;
as close as can ever be,

hold me, tightly...

push and shove,

I have you still, love...

I still have you.

Two sticks gone and twenty more to go,
maybe I'll stay, maybe you won't, who's to know?
and that's what makes it all worthwhile,
there's paths to tread, two hundred thousand million billion yards...
a mile, and a zillion more...
gets you thinking, it's prettily worth fighting for.
And that's a hell lotta shoes.

Let's have us a smoke, or not,
and welcome the unknown,
the unfolding, the end of the plot.

gogogadget

I fear the worst is here.
you should cut me off.
I am my own cancer and it's killing
us.

thereoncewasaboywhowantedtobe,buthefellandhefellandhefellandhewas...

Yes, I'm sad
It's driving me mad, love.

driving me mad.

zooop

dawns on me my folly,
and things could be jolly.
it is hard.
to move forward.

milesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmiles

one of a few reasons I've left to keep me from stifling a frown.
You'll have all of me should  things pull through if fate grants us that.
I promise.
I dread the inevitability of all this,
and it's torn me up inside and there's nothing left...
but your smile :)

farawayboys,farawayboys,away from ya now,i'mlyin with mysweetheartinherarmsi'll be found

truth is absolute and it's absolutely true

that the realness of it all, me and you

we should not, never, ever misconstrue, 

the fact of the matter, my not having... 

to bid thee, my dearie, with bleeding heart so heavy, 

adieu...

for now.

and how do I go about,

to make do without...

You.

I miss, and I've kissed 

and held and felt;

Wasn't our time...

I miss your gaze.

the intensity of a gajillion neon lights in your eyes.

pierce right through, and you stake your claim

and no one messes with you :)

It hurts me to bits,

and we have to start over,

one without the other;

We cover our tracks as we turn our backs

 on hills green and gold that now make stories of old.

I digress,

as pictures play in my head once more,

red walls, and teeth and skin, and tongue and sweat and tears, and blood

of the heat that two share in the dead of night, under starless sky,

we lay, entwined, there, laid bare. 

and thereafter as we lay to slumber, 

I meet her gaze, and she, mine...

10 seconds; a constant repetition in my minds eye,

a masculine flaw, or gift, go figure...

I have but flashes, and thoughts for none save one.

lament

This actually might be it.
I kinda saw it coming.
Like the freight train life always throws at you
and you can do nothing but meet it head on
and see what becomes of everything afterwards.

I'll be saying goodbye.
To too many damn things.

There's a barn-house full of good I'm not gonna
be seeing or smelling or touching or any of that for some time,
and maybe for good, I don't know.

It's not over yet.

empty

I don't know 'bout tomorrow...
How it's meant to be.

wingit

I like this picture.
Whirwind rollercoaster thrill ride
but I'm glad.
You're by my side.
Little things I miss and don't want to be without,
Things I want to make grow and not throw, away, slip through...
It starts now.