link

She makes me wanna do so much more.
Seems like I have you, now...
But I want you for longer, somehow.

Words have been hard to come by lately,
distractions, detractions and what-nots

I want what everybody wants but not everyone can attain.
I can't lose because there's so much more to gain.

There's too much to say and plenty to do.
Amidst all of that, I still miss you.
It's true.

Place

How'd we get to here?
funny how it plays out huh.
but here is good,
Wouldn't trade it for anything else,
the sound of your breathing
Your chest heaving, gently
and I steal a glance or two at you..
How'd we get to here..
For what it's worth,
I'm glad we did.

where to

Sometimes she catches me in the most awkward of moments,
And she laughs.
I like when she laughs.
And when she smiles...
It's the little things,I guess...
Though it all doesn't go to plan,
she seems to understand.

A dwarf of a man,
I wanna walk in bigger shoes,
and I don't wanna have to lose,
her, us.

I'll see you tonight,
have a glass or two,
rest your head on mine
as we unwind,
table for two,
me and you.

Can't let you go.
Barely had you, in my arms...
Rest your head on my chest,
Wanna look you in the eye,
catch that glimmer of hope;
what a spark it could muster
when it all feels so dark.
I wanna walk this two way street
Back and forth from mine and yours..
we almost let go, and I'll have you know,
I can't say the words.. No.
the road looks rough,
Sturdy shoes and a steady walk might do the trick.
I want your hand.
Need your hand.
We wonder if we could do without
And I'm sure as hell there are doubts.
walk with me though.
I'll paint smiles on your face and keep them ever there

Is this or is this

seems to be the case,
this phase,
darling, I can't erase
thoughts, pictures...
How much more you can endure
I don't wanna drag any more
Are we done when we haven't even begun?
I told you I wouldn't give up
Or give in,
I miss the touch of your skin
And how you get cold so easily
like your clothes are always too thin;
Buy they're not;
And how you look straight into me
trying to figure out how I tick,
and how you always get sick but not anymore;
and my cogs and sprockets may be broken and rusted
And I've got holes in my pockets;
And that I need new pants,
but you seem to understand,
Or try your most bestest,
and I feel it.
When I hold your hand.
And how you run your fingers in my hair...
And it sucks when I'm not there,
Physically.
Words can do so much,
But it's so much better when there's
touch.

If it's for the best,
Then this is a test.
That such obstacles should befall,
mere walls is all...
I'm not giving up nor giving in.
On me.
On you.
so....
now what do we do?

time. Why you punish me. Will you be here tomorrow?

I can't.
Can I, should I, would I, will I
actualize, realize, theorize
This, you, me, us, we, thing...

could we, must we, should we, can we at all?
see the blips, rise, fall,
our downfall?
Measure the pressure, this tenure, simple leisure?
And pleasure?
Or more? Something in store...

maybe it is, maybe it isn't...
No better time to find out than the present.

I found.
you.

It becomes clearer..
Crystal...
When our eyes meet,
I just know
that this ain't no show.
it's a wonder sometimes
I ask myself how this played out
And all I can decipher and comprehend
Is that you're here.
Now.
And the story unravels,
with bated breath,
excited and anxious..
if it'll be, finally...
It feels right,
This tough tough fight,
Time and miles apart...
I guess it's like that at the start.
I miss you even when you're right here,
next to me...
Kiss, touch, exchange words and a funny story.
Yes, yes...
I like you very much,thanks.
Very very very much...

Z

I'm falling, and this is one fall
I don't wanna get up from.
We're a long way from where we wanna be;

I wanna warm your bed, dearest.
Kiss your head while you're asleep.
Lazy afternoons and rainy days
We'll find means, ways,
To get by... Today...

light

Just when I thought the clouds had their way...
A sliver of light shone through,
It was you.
You make me wanna be,
Better.
Stripped bare,
This is me,
just me, and you take
what you can,
And I wanna give more,
And you can see an end,
a beginning, just for two
Smile,
I can smile..
And I do when I hear you,
Your eyes barely open,
Words barely spoken in that tiny
squeaky voice that you do,
And it makes me want you...
Ever more.

pillar

if only you could see
what it's like to be me.
I want us to be...
you and me.
Baby,
I've no reason
save for one...
And this ain't just for fun.
I gave up on love,
on self, on hope...
don't give me a reason to give up again.
I miss the warmth, the taste, the feel.
I've reason to breathe, to live to weave,
a life, to share with you and me...
don't let me go and I'll have you know,
the proof I'll prove I'm for real and it's not a show.
Baby...
I didn't mean I'd ever let go when I said take it slow.
Allow me this space
and I'll run this race,
with you,
I'll keep pace.
Just please don't let go.
Of me.
Of us.
Because I won't.

dry.

lips meet,

as i bask in your scent,

clock ticks,

there's no time,

there never is... enough.

It's what I can't get;

enough of you.

Never thought I'd let go

and let loose,

this tight noose

constricted, restrictions

are vacant and void.

when it comes to you

all I see, is true.

Baby.

It's you.

Geography.

our least favorite subject...

two

a couple days, and equal nights,

nothing but you in my sight. 

stole a gaze at your sleeping face;

pretty thoughts I can't erase,

from my mind ,

the tape's on replay,

but we're moving ahead. 

daylight baby.

You and me. 

areasonforreasoni'llsaythistoyou

dearest.
i miss you most.
Don't let them scare you
he said,
I'll say the same.

finish line:
your hand in mine...

calamine.

like a mild rash
I just want to scratch you off.
The more I do, the more it spreads.

I've accepted the fact there is no more room for me
within these walls.
That you built with your own blood and sweat.
I will bleed my own and sweat my own
and cry my own.
You'll see.
And all you're waiting for is to see me fall;
Ridicule my plight and seemingly meaningless fight.

Stood in your shadow far too long,
no more will I be always wrong.
In your eyes.
No more.

5:57

if you could, would you?

iwantthissobadsoimustandifidontiwillbustcombustandrustonmyowndethrone

an open letter to make it better,

I can only look ahead,

no games, 

all cards laid bare.

all in...

I'm here.