maybe fuck myself.

I thought I could.
I know it's bigger than all of this.
It's the now that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
I'm always waiting.
And when it comes, it's never what I'd hoped it to be.

pitter pattter

It's raining...
memories of playing in the park as a kid,
running, jumping in puddles,
or riding my bicycle and splashing about
 in the waterlogged grass.

the smell of the air right before it poured,
and the excitement and anticipation of the first few drops...
the reckless abandon, and carefree spirit,
I've always seemed to be... still am.

I love it when it rains.

bear back

Live.

it's all you've got left.

1245

gappling minigun looking thru them barrels
can't see no sun, this used to be fun,
teetering on the thrill, living on edge.
Where's it all gone now, where's it all gone,
down through that rabbit hole,
like foot through royal ass,
endless maze of shit and piss,
I think I'd barely miss,
oh Alice, how would you fare?
If you be here and I there,
I fear the insanity of reality
a tad too hard to bare.
Running along now, running along.
On the same side of road,
on the same side of road
on the same fucking side.
Of road.

Been singing the same old tune
and I want it to change,
like nailing myself to the cross all over again
and wrestling myself free to nail my hands in all over
again, and the wound doesn't heal no it doesn't,
it just gets bigger and gangrenous,
bits of skin and bone,
and she's still here, though miles away than
I'd like, and yet she still is here.
for now.

layhill

My thoughts turn to her still.

Inexplicable how touch, smell,

sight and sound connect the dots back,

every thought, externally influenced,

point her way.

...still I mess it up,

an already overflowing mixen

of disappointment and crushed hopes,

enveloping this existence in a shroud of

uncertainty, further condemning ourselves

to a future, one without the other.

run fumble hard gamble now ramble

keep not a penny
for libationary exploits,
it would do you in.
livers and workhorses
can last and outrun for only so far.

If troubles could be drunk away...
Mine are deep.
aye ocean deep.

despite this plight,
a faint fuzzy light...
glows.

volaticus

So I wanna write a new chapter.
There's more to look forward to, hereafter.
Don't want it to be the same old same same old,
like today, it ain't gold,
2nd week of the 2nd month,
a day before the 2nd day.
happy hearts, chocolates, smores, chocolate smores.

Envision, on a mission, to find some sort of consistency,
new vocabulary, a new word, a day, something new to say,
word play.

plus one, you're on my list,
top of, no less,
no more mess,
on top of me, or me behind,
I'd be glad to just spend time,
long strolls, breathless, walks,
hop on puddles, make funny faces,
cook a meal.

happy happy happy,
it's all anybody ever needs and deserves,
no soap opera drama nonsense,
Switch the channel if we could.

Things are looking up for me.
I wanna see the same, for you.

Love, love, love, love.
happy hearts. happy hearts.

Feb 9, 2011 11:33:17 PM

sentiments...
it's never easy.
...never fucking is.

signage.

the ship's just sailed on this one,
CLOSED sign's on the doors.
bells bells bells bells
nothing. you got nothing.

stupid

If there was nothing to begin with,
why did it feel like it ended?

It's obvious why,
but indefference
overshadows the fact.

float.

So tear me off of you,
an extra limb, dead weight.
It's all I'll ever be, was, whatever.

I could ride the wind.