Miles from a smile

I'm back, but I feel like I'm elsewhere.
Distant, faraway.

hart

I'll be back in one piece.
Or I'll be back, at least.
X days away,
Don't worry love, I won't go astray.

You still linger about my senses,
in my head, on my skin;
And its gonna stay,
like me, in and around;
and about, you.

Spent a day,
we shared the bed,
on clear heads, not a drop of booze,
barely a snooze...

I bid you goodnight
and dearest, sleep tight.
I'll be on my way,
in more than a day,
but I'll come back to you
We'll have a smoke,
share a joke,
make a meal.
under hazy skies, who gives a fuck,
about the weather, make it rain Lord,
that'll be better.

night, love.

Night

3:33.
2 minutes back.
beside me...
Where you wanna be.
Here. Now.
kiss you goodnight.
Pretty.

paints

Waking moments shared under the covers.
down, out and about and out of sorts,
I pick myself up still, peer outside my window sill,
The haze masks the warmth I feel.
Now, and you're snoozing away.
a peaceful smile painted on your face.
So ideal, let's wish it real.
free, is all we really want to be.
And there's yet so much to fix,
so much.
The path is clear,
let's walk it my dear.
should we meet in the end?
Can't say. But a path is laid.

waking mornings.
Next to you.

hot flame

I'll write about how at this juncture
we are teetering about at the crossroads
Playing with fire,
as the flames dance
a deadly dance on our palms
Our fingers;
a memory lingers.

My final conscious thoughts
Form images,
The both of us;
Before I succumb to the night and
an empty bed.

I'll write about life
And strife and unused
Underutilized chance after chance
and gloriously blowing each one to hell
one after the other.

I thought I had all the answers,
and it's all there, laid out for me
on a Fucking silver platter,
Raw and bare, all there.
Spurned.

I fell I'm slipping back into what was
once normality but what's now become a liability

I won't let that happen.
Everything to lose is the name of the game.

I won't stay away and I'll learn to right the wrongs
the hiccups that fuck up our day.

All i've got isn't much.
would be nice to share a glass, a meal an evening...
A moment.
With someone, somebody...
You?
Maybe.

I need to fix me.
Commencement--
ETA now.

shoot skeet

Choice, decisions, alternatives.
We're free to be
And I'd be with you.
Put on your running shoes baby,
it's the marathon we're after.

more than words could ever fulfill
my hands will.. Given a chance.
and it's hard and gets harder still.

I miss your voice in my ear,
your arms enveloping me in your caress
as long heated nights await and pass,
As we share a glass, or two,
catch that show, go for that stroll
Share stories, bedside...
No limits, no need to hide.
I've some sorting out to do
before we can be two.
I'm just a Juan.
damn pun.

But your hands,
fill a gap in mine.
Fits just fine.
And maybe that's a clue.

I'm missing alot of things
I've gotten much accustomed to,
and it's all of you.

Your hair to the soft
supple touch of your skin.
just does me in.
completely.
every inch.

If our lives were a book,
I'd wanna flip to the end,
But I might miss out on a really good read.

so, good friend,
Wait awaits at the end.
Of all this...

Physical

Meet-you-rendezvous'...
Thought I'd lost you.
longing for some side by side banter
Table top or otherwise doesn't matter.
Whatever the weather,
if it rains, even better.
I miss the word play.
I'd miss a day without the sound of your voice
Miss scratchy...
keep that smile on
'cause I wanna give you
more reason to.

Flyd Mywhether

she wants to please
and she can't leave, it all.
Can't have it all.
Yet.
I do agree it would be hard if it were me.

but she's stronger
than she gives herself credit for;
this I admire, when it comes to the wire...
a week or more I've missed,
pictures of her,
a blur,
still linger...
morning mist

I miss her.
I do.

equate

It's much more simple, now, really.
To hear your voice,
your just woken up soft, scratchy, out-of-bed tone
just does me in.
Completely.

I can talk about your lips,
your hair,
how you bite your nails,
and your aversion to vegetables and your many, many, many
more endearing quirks.
I can go all day.

I strive to be, unbroken;
And so should you.
And you're halfway there.

Right now, this very instant,
though it pains me that you're not here,
fret not dear,
I'd be apart from you, a month, a year or two,
But to lose you for good, would never do.
No no no never do at all.

Who am I to say,
let the stars and fates have their way,
And we'll take it in stride,
Strap in for the ride.
I'm in.
I'll see you at the end.
Whatever end it may be,
We'll always have you and me.

Sellf

Aspire to inspire
This fire rekindled;
A flame, desire...
left a stone unturned, here I lay, burned.
Chances spurned but without lack of hope.
Grab on hang on, tight, this rope.
Come the wave, lest it break in its wake.

sidetrack:
I've been thinking,
and I fear...
That which I hold, ever dear,
Would cost more than a tear,
But at what price?
a chance or non at all.
should I choose to fall
Again and again
And eat dust off the trail
or blaze one of my own
and carve and hone
a name, a life,
one with no strife...
till you come along,
again, once more, perhaps never,
we can't be sure.
for the fates seem to rule
and have their way they shall.
But it's not too late for me to dictate,
the path I must take.
I wish it were you and glad t'were it true.
what could be,
Let's not misconstrue...
what should be,
time. A clue.
we can't know yet
I reckon,
were you the one
T'Would be so much fun.

I digress...
I'll fix me.
You'll fix you..
and maybe just maybe, there might just be a clue
a hint.
I starve for a glint, cos I'm skint
as the word can allow.
and I'll fix me.
Eventually.
and maybe, just maybe...
I don't know.
I really don't.
I may need to find me a new way to smile.
just for a while.
the clouds are rolling in...

40proof

I'd walk miles.
Your scent
Your smile
Lines lines lines
Distilled spirits,
Nicoteine sticks
Salad dips dirty chicks,
Eyes on you
Just you...
Tonight
Tomorrow
Whenever
Wherever.
Now, later,
soon, soon, soonest?
now?
quandary... Me and you?

Do

Skin met skin.
Tonight.
I saw a smile;
not a glimpse not a hint,
of the opposite.
your scent lingers,
We keep each other warm,
How can we do each other any more harm?
extreme highs between your thighs
But it don't matter,
I'd settle for table top banter,
A ciggarette or two,
a sip of bubbly, as long as it's you...
snoozing gently, beside me.
I see you.
Enter part two.